Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Spirituality is Being True to Yourself

Spirituality is not a standard or a set of rules or guidelines that you live by. It's not becoming a vegetarian, doing yoga, or meditating everyday. By conceptualizing these ideas, we limit and bind ourselves to everything that spirituality is not. There's no initiation to being "spiritual," no ritual. It is simply the dedication to understanding yourself and life to the deepest depths, and from this dedication stems the truths of the universe, the laws of love that we were created to live with.
In understanding the many facets of life, we come to appreciate everything that life has to offer, everything it teaches us.

When we are able to understand ourselves, we are able to understand the universe, for they are one in the same. With this knowledge comes forgiveness, forgiveness of others misunderstandings and judgments, anger and hurt, coldness and fear, but most importantly, forgiveness of ourselves. Forgiveness of the judgments WE'VE made, the decisions we regret, the words we wish we never said. And then, with this forgiveness, comes love. Unconditional love. Love in knowing that every single expression of life is rooted in the latter, in knowing that that root blooms into itself, into love, from love, and will never cease to exist.

Being Spiritual doesn't mean that you are "happy" and "cheery" all of the time, or that nothing seems to phase you, because it sure as hell does. I used to believe this crap, and because of it I put myself down, thinking that if I'm spiritual, shouldn't I be on the same "level" of these other "spiritual" beings? Shouldn't I be able to rid myself of pain and fear because I "know" the supposed truth? Why am I still crying? Why can't I live what I know? Why do I still have an ego when I know that's not who I am? WHY do I still hurt so much? I let my mind eat my heart from the inside out until I realized the truth . . .

The truth sure as hell do hurt, and you sure as hell do cry, and you will do so until YOU don't need to anymore and only you know when that is. Pain in the heart is usually a deep hurt, a hurt that takes time to let go of and heal. You should cry, you should scream, you should be angry. LET IT OUT. Just let yourself go, and know that when you are ready, and only when you are ready, your true self will be waiting for you in your heart, to actualize itself. Time isn't going anywhere, so be patient with yourself and you'll find the truth in that patience.

You'll understand that being "spiritual" is actually just trial and error for finding the truth, and the truth is whatever resonates with YOU. You'll feel it, you'll know it. You'll understand the movement and rhythm of life, and you won't be overwhelmed or overtaken by unpleasant circumstances that arise.
You'll understand the contrast of life within the oneness that it is. That pain brings life to pleasure, and that darkness is only there so that it may be lit up once again. Yes, emotions are transient and experiences are unexpected, but it's all a learning experience. Not knowing what's going to come next. Not knowing what the next piece might be to the seemingly never ending puzzle. That not-knowingness, infused with the essence of knowingness- that trust you feel towards the universe that everything is unfolding as it should- is what makes life so damn beautiful, because no matter what, life goes on, and you are still alive.

So throw yourself into the wind, trusting that life will carry you wherever you need to be, even if you have no idea where you are going. 

Friday, December 14, 2012

Oh Life, What Are You?

I've decided to just make a list of some questions/observations I've had lately (with some possible answers). My intentions aren't to offend, just interested in hearing others' points of view. Feel free to comment on here with your possible answers or you can send me an email at ! peacee to yall <3333

*Christians/Catholics believe that God judges you based on whether you've been good or bad enough to go to "heaven" or "hell." What I wonder is what if going to "hell" is really just us reincarnating on earth (what we now think is hell) until we've finished our karmic cycle and then were able to go to heaven? Heaven being the higher dimensions from which we originally come, our natural state, our "comfort zone.. What if our souls made plans & contracts with God, Source, Spirit to learn certain life lessons and until we've truly learned them and allowed our I AM presence (true spirit) to actualize, we're not yet ready to graduate from this cosmic classroom?

*So I was thinking about Christianity/Catholicism (CC) compared to Buddhism, and I wondered why CC views God as greater than us or of an essence that we are not. If God is everything and we were created in his image then wouldn't we be the children of his art?
 Buddhists believe that the God is within you as well as without, that there is no separation of all that is, and all that is is bound to the laws of love, so I came up with an analogy to try explain why giving your power away (feeling inferior to God) seems silly. 

- So you have a painter who painted a painting. The Painter isn't greater than the painting and the painting isn't greater than the painter, they are both just the essence of the same thing in different forms. The painter holds the emotion of his work within and unveils it as a piece of art without, taking nothing away from the emotion, just merely expressing it, like I said, in a different form.

*What if we are an experiment? (which I think we are) What if Adam & Eve were the beginning and God gave them the option to eat from the tree of knowledge (although he warned them not to) just to see what would happen? What if we are the results :)

*According to Christianity and Catholicism (I believe, correct me if I'm wrong), God is all forgiving and after you die you stand before God in a time of judgement, asking for forgiveness for your sins, and if you don't, you are sent to hell, but if God is all forgiving then wouldn't he forgive you for not asking for forgiveness?

*Again, according to Christianity and Catholicism, you can be eternally damned and perished. What I want to know is why God would ever express himself as something that can be eternally damned ? (since God is everything) 

Anyways, only a few more days until the Christ Consciousness - the knowing of the true self & embodiment of love- is activated. It's about time we allow our lives to unfold as they should.

Friday, November 16, 2012

Step Into Your Heart and out of Your Mind

Love is not a source from without, love is a source from within.
Reach to the deepest depths of your soul and find the core of your being where your truth resides.
There's no need to try and lie to yourself.
We're playing this game of hide and go seek where we see how far we can separate ourselves from ourselves, until one day we snap back into the actual reality of who we are and remember that this pain we feel is not real.
We wanted to have this experience on earth because it shows us what duality and polarity and physicality and everything in between is.
We are eternal beings who decided to put eternity on hold to create an illusory relationship with time.
What is time really?
Alan Watts said, "Time is a measure of a rate of change."
It's a bunch of numbers thrown on a piece of plastic or metal or wood to judge how quickly or how slowly we are manifesting things in our life, and we use these judgments to criticize and ridicule each other.
Kind of like money.
An energy exchange put in paper so that we have a way to categorize each other.
So we can feel "better" than everyone else, or secretly lower.
We've decided to trade our souls for paper and clocks and everything we're not.
But I think it's so beautiful that we've spent our lives so invested in something that we thought would make us happy because that's all we really want at the end of the day.
Genuine happiness.
It's incredible that they've (and I'll leave it up to your imagination on who "they" are) succeeded in encouraging us to fall for this illusion and that we've victimized ourselves by following along as they nudged us to give ourselves up so that we might be able to possess this illusion.
But it cannot be possessed because it does not exist.
And now the time has come for us to realize that the only existence is ourselves.
We are all connected, we are all one, and we all exist throughout and within each other.
There is no separation and no "other."
There is just you and the reflection of yourself found within every crevice and corner of the infinite universe.
We are stepping out of the Age of Pisces and into the Age of Aquarius.
For thousands of years now we've been like fish out of water, uncomfortable in our own skin, trapped in our own "home," suffering without repose.
We've been thirsty for knowledge, but overcome with confusion.
We've been running around looking outside of ourselves, trying to exceed our own capacity by stepping out of our own hearts, but in doing so we've relentlessly given our power away.
So now, as we step into the Age of Aquarius - the water bearer- we return home.
We return home and remember how to swim effortlessly through the ocean of our own being.

Namaste and much love every one <3

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Feels So Good

It feels good to give your heart a hug
Its like the lonely teenager who just wants some attention and love
Someone who will listen to them and not judge
A care free love with a warm embrace
A spirit of one who sees past the face
Value of things are not always what they seem
and if you loosen your mind you'll pull at the seams
of the universe and all of its mystery
A history written with no beginning and no end
What if you could be your own friend?
Accept and understand the being within
What if you could ignite that passion in your heart?
Have a fresh start?
What if you could wipe away your past?
Would you hold on to it or let it pass?
Can you feel that in your heart?
Will you listen to it and express its art?
It feels good to give yourself what you want
It feels good to let go of the fear that taunts
Your darkest night
Where faith seems to be nowhere in sight
When you break your walls down
and you let your tears fall down
When you let your blood pour itself all over your pain
and feel every ounce of who you used to be drain
Only then can you touch the sky.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Wish Upon a Star

I'm sitting here and I'm just thinking about how beautiful life is. Every breath I inhale even more of the essence of my being and now I'm seeing life for what it really is. So what is it really? Are you open to receive the love infused in my words or will the truth hurt, just like everything else? Either way, its perfect. Either way its exactly how it's meant to be at this very moment. That being said, what if you could make your next moment even better? What if you could remember the goodness of a moment and carry it over into the next? What if you could choose how to feel? What you want? Where you want to be? What would you choose? Sit there and think about it for a moment... you might even make a wish. Don't worry, no ones watching.

If you could wish for anything, what would it be? And be specific, dont be shy, nothings impossible. Imagine that wish coming true. What does it look like? What does it taste and smell like? What colors are there? How do you feel? Bring the moment to life in your mind so that you can manifest this moment in real life, or, something even better. The more energy we spend imagining our wildest dreams and wishes, the more likely they are to come true. The more energy we spend on thinking about what we dont have, and what we hate, and what we dont want any more of, the less likely we are to achieve our dreams.

The truth is, we can choose whatever we want, however we want our moment to be, good or bad. We are in control of ourselves and that is all so why not take advantage of it? We are our own vehicle, but many of us have become stagnant in movement because we've forgotten that we are the driver, so step on the gas and follow your path. You are it. Everything you've imagined. Everything you've ever wanted. So unwrap everything that you are and choose to remember that this is YOUR life, no one else's, and you can do whatever you wish. You are the star of your own movie and you can have whatever you want because it's all about you.

Law of attraction. Its that simple. Your thoughts manifest your reality. If you think the world is awful, and my mom hates me, and my job sucks, then thats what you'll see, thats what you'll get. Being a female, of course I've had a few things to say about others (its just in our conditioned behavior patterns), so when I would start to focus on the "negative" qualities in a person, then that's all I would be able to see and then I would focus on those qualities even more until I couldn't see anything but that "negativity" in that person. You see we get trapped in this subconscious thought pattern that continues to loop around itself and we dont even realize it. We've become comfortably numb with everything. Pain is normal. Prescription drugs fix everything. School is necessary. Money makes you happy. Life is all about dealing with the suffering. No! This is wrong.

It's beautiful that we've all lived our lives up to now in the best way we know how, expressing ourselves and our love to the best of our ability, but what if we could understand that this is not in our true nature? We are not meant to be boxed up in class rooms where people tells us what to study and what to learn and how to be "successful" and "happy." Education is beautiful, but what is the point of it if we don't even know anything about ourselves? Shouldn't that be our top priority?

Why do we spend so much energy consuming our minds with other peoples opinions when we know them not to be true? Why do we believe everything that everyone else tells us, but we dont listen to what our own heart is trying to tell us? It's easier that way. It's easier to fade into the crowd and give into everyones wants and needs. It's easier to deplete your energy by giving yourself away to others. That way they never question you, that way they never attack you. It's just easier to keep your mouth shut so that others will keep their mouths shut as well. But what if we gave ourselves a challenge and viewed it as fun and exciting? What if we tested ourselves to speak our truth and express our individuality? What if we dared ourselves to do what we've always wanted to do?... and then did it.

The only person who is going to regret your life is YOU. Everyone is busy regretting what they didn't do and the choices they shouldn't have made, so it wouldn't be fair if you actually lived out your life the way you wanted to. Don't let these people bring you down, let them inspire you and show you what you who you are not. Take responsibility for your actions and the situations you come across and know that you can change them at any time. We get so stuck on looking at what's behind us, so we can never move forward. Let go. Just let it go because it's gone. It can't be changed, but your moment can be, so choose how you want your moment to feel and maybe you can live in that moment forever.

Monday, September 10, 2012

Everything is not as it Seems, We are Just Lost in a Beautiful Dream

It's amazing the things were taught to believe from the start of our physical existence. People always telling you that the world doesn't revolve around you, but it does, and if we were able to accept that and allow it to revolve us  instead of blocking its movement, we'd find that inner peace that were constantly seeking. If we let the world revolve around ourselves like we should, we would be doing everything we love, everything we desire, everything we dream of, everything we've ever wanted and more, and in doing these things we would radiate all of that good energy, all of that happiness and security out into our external world. 

The world revolving around you is the most selfless movement. It's our innate nature as human BEings to express ourselves through love in everything we do, to give and receive, to service our brothers and sisters, to appreciate everyone for what their world brings into ours, to allow our worlds to mold together into one beautiful masterpiece, rather than resist the oneness that is everything, so in letting our world revolve around ourselves we allow the consciousness of everything to revolve around itself; love. 

The idea of disconnection is only in our minds. Our realities are a manifestation of our thoughts, so in convincing ourselves that were disconnected, we "disconnect" ourselves and forget, not lose, the truth of our experience on this planet. We are each the center of the universe, starting at the very core of our hearts and expanding outwards into the infinite nothingness of life. We are one eternal consciousness, expressing itself differently through billions of physical bodies, either remaining stagnant in a world we hate, or allowing ourselves to unfold into everything we already are. We don't have to do anything to be where we want to be, we are already there, always. 

Every single being on this planet is the key component to life, for if anything that is in place right now was out of place, we wouldn't exist. God, the source, love, whatever you want to call it, is just expressing itself through us, as itself. We are just as much a part of the source as the source is a part of itself. There is no difference between us and the source. We are it. We don't need to look outside of ourselves for answers anymore because they are all within. All of this time we've been searching, on the hunt for answers, for excuses, distractions, anything to justify our severance from ourselves, but this doesn't make sense to us anymore. We don't have to be consumed by fear and doubt, we don't have to hurt anymore, because its only been ourselves hurting ourselves this entire time, no one else, so we have the ability to heal ourselves as well. And this is the beautiful part of pain.  

As chaotic as some may view the world, as much hate as you may think you see on this planet and the people around you, its only because you see that hate in yourself. When you love something and you know its purpose, it grows, so love yourself, love who you are, not who you are not, because you are already everything you wish to be, you just have to let yourself believe it. We have the power to do anything we want. Theres no longer a need to give our power away or to search for our power from something or someone outside of ourselves because we will not find it there. The only place we will find our power is in our hearts. Our hearts are all connected to each other in a beautiful rainbow matrix.

There's no gap from one person to the next. This space that we've created between each other does not exist. Because we can't see or feel this space, this nothingness, our fear consumed souls resist its nutrients, its beauty, its security. Just like a fish in water, the air is our ocean of unlimited possibilities in which we have the ability to let the current of our own spirit take us away into love. The planet, mother earth, is our root, and we are the trees. In order to grow, we need to nurture and love ourselves, provide ourselves with delicious water and nutrients, and then watch as our leaves and branches blow effortlessly in the wind, as father sky makes his presence known. 

The mother and the father work harmoniously to give us everything we need, everything we've ever wanted, now all we have to do is open ourselves up to receive. Let their magic encompass your entire being, let them fill you with their wisdom, with their healing touch. Watch and learn as they perfectly balance the masculine and femininity of life. Allow yourself to consume the role of the female and listen to your emotions, your intuition, your heart; let yourself cry if you need to. Let yourself feel. Just feel and be ok with whatever ever it is that you are feeling. In fighting off what we think we don't want, we only attract more of that into our life. Let go. Just let go and know that you always have the loving support of your mother underneath your feet and the wisdom and courage from the father sky within you at every moment. Take on the Masculine aspect of yourself and go after what you want. Take action. Believe. Create. Let the prana, your breath, your life force, flow up and down your chakras, filling you with its infinite knowledge. Let your star shine from within, lighting up your path, your purpose. 

Let yourself be yourself and watch as your life unfolds into a beautiful dream. 

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sticky Business

I'm stuck.
And I'm having trouble overcoming being stuck because I feel guilty for it
Which makes me stick even more to the stuck that I'm stuck on
And that's nothing really except for the ideas I mold in my mind
 And the amount of suns that have passed through time
And entered the portal of the immortal ones where energy exists through a divine rhyme of love and only love,
Nothing below and nothing above,
 And I know this to be so, so why am I still so stuck on what I do and dont know?
Why won't I allow myself to let go of the possession of my brain,
 It's driving me insane,
The possession of the game I've been playing all along
 I want to sing my own song and move along no matter how long it takes,
The stakes are high and I'm running low and I feel like I have nowhere to go,
But the corners of my box that I've been trapped into
And jokes on me because I fell for all these silly little things that have dangled me by a string and conformed me into fear, hurting...
 Those who I truly hold dear are nowhere near me now
And I keep asking how I let myself wander out so far when I've never lost sight of the north star
 I know where I'm going so why don't I just go that way
 I know which way the wind is blowing so why don't I just let it take me away,
And float miraculously in the sea of the sky, The eye of the I,
It's me and my fight battling against itself,
Holding onto its "wealth" of egotism.
Not being given any emotion,
 Just being thrown into an ocean at a young age with nothing to gage or nothing to trade for your life Or the knife that you feel in your heart
And it's only the start of this so called life
And i wonder if I've already lost a lot of it,
 But I don't even know what it is
I don't even know what I am.
Am I a man or a female
 Or a squirrel
 Or an alien
 Or a normal one
Or a weird, queer one who sucks her thumb and stares into an empty space of misfortune and distaste for the food she's been fed through thought
And who woulda thought it would have such an impact
 And stay in tact until it can't be beat down
But placed into the ground with the foundation broken
And the wound still open.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sometimes Things Get Complicated

Before I post what I've written I just wanted To let my readers know that I've had a rough couple of days. Most of my blogs are extremely positive but this one is just raw emotion. The reason I'm posting it is because I want people to see that I hurt too and that it's ok to admit to it. Everyone hurts and bottling up that pain will only make you go insane. That being said, here it is...

I feel trapped, under attack, every minute every hour I feel a loss of power and I want to shower and drain all of this pain I hold inside all of these tendencies I hide and I try to disguise what's going on sometimes, but sometimes some time is too long to not feel strong, I've lost the will to go on. I feel my feet slip from under me and all I want to do is be set free, but I'm held captivity of my own mind of my own rhymes and it's about time I made a change, but change can just seem so strange and unfamiliar in known ways weeks turn into 100 days of guilt and blame and hurt and shame and everything in between that doesn't define the real me, but...

 I let it consume me and control me I let it take a hold of me and everything I am and am not I hate to watch myself rot, but that's what I'm doing I'm putting off pursuing, I don't excuse myself from my excuses I'm abusive and judgmental, but only of myself and I create this hell where I feel my heart burning away into everything I don't want it to be I just want the world to see me for me and I know it's my fault that they don't and I don't point the finger at anyone else but myself, but I still can't tell you why...

Why I do the things I do and don't or won't or think I can't. I want something different, something new, I want to get through this now, but now seems too soon and now is all we have so I cant hide from it forever, but sometimes I wonder if I could because anythings possible and that scares me. What If I continue on forever with this undying wound in my heart what if I can never learn to start communicating better what If I just let her and him and everyone continue to beat me down until I'm so lost I can't be found. I want to stay around for awhile, but I'm trying too hard and it seems so far until I fall into the nothingness of all that is, my one question is...

Will it ever go away? I keep saying not today I'll save it for tomorrow, but tomorrow is just letting me borrow some more time, it's letting borrow more of something that's not mine or anyone's for that matter and matter doesn't matter either, what matters is love. So I continue to look to the skies above, feel the light, feel the dove, feel its peace put my pieces together for the better and whatever I go through at least I'm going and whatever I go through at least I'm knowing at least I'm aware and I don't stare at all the others staring at each other, too afraid to look themselves in the eye, too ashamed to ask why, why they lie, why they don't let themselves cry from time to time, but what's mine is yours so take these words and the infinite amount of love I hold and I hope you let your life unfold into it. Have a beautiful day everyone, much love.

Monday, June 18, 2012

How is my Only How

So here I am, but where am I exactly? These thoughts don’t let me do much they almost help me to lose touch with the things I want to be intertwined with, no time does not exist and neither does my ego its time to let it go, the fear that consumes me, that traps me within myself, a self proclaimed hell, a spell to suffer enough to where I don’t trust anyone or anything, but that’s not me so what does it matter what anyone else thinks, what does it matter what matter is because its all just twisted and churned into something we learn rather than be, rather than feel and fly free, were all prisoners here of our own mind, were all prisoners here of time, were all prisoners here of what we make up, take up another dose for I cant take it anymore, I've about hit the floor.
She says hell is in the hallways until you open another door, but what if you’ve been walking for too long? What if it's too hard to feel strong, what if I want to collapse and melt into nothing else because the possible seems impossible and im hoping for a miracle to shield me from my “mistakes” and everything I take for granted, granted im still alive I still thrive, but I still lie and am scared to die, I don’t know why, I need to practice what I preach because I have so much to teach and so far to reach until I get there, but there is here, its all the same, im going insane searching for something I already know, but how the fuck do I let go, how do I break it down, how do I make a sound and make it heard, how do I escape from this herd roaming through life grazing on bullshit, drinking in standardized piss, shitting out the truth, and breathing in the myths.
 How do I know which road to take or not do I run or walk do I sit and talk or do I leave the flock to create my own, my home, my om, where vibrations havenever been sweeter, where my words are not a misdemeanor, where my thoughts don’t teeter, where my heart isn’t bruised from a beater; me, judgement free, forgiveness at its finest, minus the sinus pain of this ongoing game called life where you take a knife and stab it in your own chest and you blame the blood stains on the rest, don’t you see this is all just a test. Who will pass and who will fail?
 I received a letter in the mail from a little bird apparently she heard we've been conditioned to breath in sync with the heart beat of a machine, theres no such thing as a team we are all on our own we are all alone, these are letters that have been added and multiplied so that our souls would die and we wouldn’t even know, now they just put on a show because they know we'll all watch and do the message they’ve sent through, see we don’t know the difference anymore between happiness and pain to us it's all just the same because you live and then you die, but before you die you spend 80 years crying inside trying to hide who you really are, what if we could all could just be in harmony, love and peace, whats so hard about that, whats so wrong with a lack of self defense, why must we build fences around our world, why have we turned so cold.
 Its hard to understand, but it makes perfect sense, the reason why our chakras are so tense, not an ounce of love for some, not even a hug, or a melody so fine that it wouldn’t even matter how many dimes you had in your piggy bank, and to think I didn’t thank you for inspiring me to turn my dream world into a reality, and to think that jesus didn’t think, drink up some more beer, soothe your soul, release your fear, temporarily at least, it gives your mind some peace, trust me I know, but it gets old, and so youre told, go to school, be a square, drop out? Don’t you dare. A blank stare on every face, trying to retrace at which pace you let the hurt take over, take cover, theyre coming for you, its true, look at the x in the sky, look at the x’s in your eyes, youre so close to dead, eat another loaf of bread, eat your pain away, maybe you can postpone facing it for another day in another way.
So here I lay and ponder and wander in my own maze and im amazed at the universe and how each verse is sung perfectly, each note hits the capacity of my heart and my art, and yours too, who knew we had it in us, the passion to live in love not lust, see theres a difference between the two, a distance not many knew, through each heart and out the next, take a step towards want you want, and youll get what you need, take a step towards yourself and I'll take a step towards me.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Undo my Seams

The universe is a mirror of yourself. Do you see the beauty in it or the ugly? Check. Are you really you or are you being someone else?

You can be put on a shelf and displayed for a day in a shade of grey, then teleport somewhere else, maybe a little elf will whisper in your ear, tell you everything you need to hear, show you where you need to look, a thief stole your soul and you're the crook-ed thought we're all in a melting pot, boiling in our lies until we rot, then we feed ourselves to the young and the old and the middle sold  in desperation for them to know the hurt we've endured, in hopes that we can allure them into thinking the same, reliving our pain since we had to feel it and its not fair, so here take this hate, there's plenty to share, don't stop and care about your being just focus your attention on what you're seeing. 

Yes, that's good, digest your ego, you are what you eat, you must come with me though and follow in my steps of despair don't you ever declare what's on your mind, don't you dare feel aligned with the idea of no time, you get no words, you won't be heard by anyone or anything, don't you dare listen to your heart ring, don't you dare go against the cause of suffering, my mind created hell on earth and you'll be joining me. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Weirdos Digest

I'm having a weird human moment where I'm wondering who the hell I am and how the hell did I get here? I can't see you here, but I can feel you here. What are you? I'm just knit-picking the energy levels. Don't we all just want to lose our minds? Then we wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Don't we all just want to lose our minds? Then we'll find our hearts. We all just want to leave our imprint on this earth and thats what I'm doing. The size of our bodies is insignificant, but the size of our hearts is not, and until you speak from yours, it won't be content. You have all of the questions while feeling all the answers in your heart, and you keep looking out, but look within.

So, I'm standing on the earth here and you're standing on the earth there and I'm feeling what I'm feeling here and you're feeling what you're feeling there, but is it possible that were feeling the same thing at the same time? Maybe these emotions aren't so alien after all. Did you ever consider that there are millions of people who are feeling the same exact thing as you, they're just scared to admit to it, just as you are, but don't you see through everyones translucent masks? Don't you see through your own?

Why are we all so ashamed to be insecure, were all just trying to figure out what were looking for. If so many people around you are feeling the same, then why don't you relate to them instead of hate on them. Say something nice and see how much better you feel. You'll go to bed with less pain, knowing that you are being a good person instead of an angry person and it will translate over into the next day where you wake up feeling better than the day before about yourself and this positive pattern continues and you start to eradicate this hurt out of your heart, you actually understand the meaning of a fresh start filled with a clear blue sky, where all the negativity has died.

Much love to all you angels out there, which is everyone <3

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Fall in Love With Yourself

Do you ever feel like you’re two people? Like your heart is one person and your brain is the other, and until you resolve the battle between the two, you wont find inner peace. How can you trust anyone if you don’t even trust yourself? You are constantly beating, hurting, and lying to yourself. That’s why you don’t even love who you are. It’s like a relationship: how can you love someone when they are constantly lying to you and breaking your heart? You cant. 

You must love yourself. You must nourish, treat and take care of yourself the way you’d expect the love of your life to take care of you, with compassion and encouragement. You just want someone to love you because it’s too hard for you to try and love you. You you you, open your eyes and feel the love , open your heart and see the love.

I don’t know who’s quote this is, I found it online, but it says “a soul mate is someone who will make you the most ‘you’ that you can possibly be.” Your heart is your spirits soul mate, so don’t separate, don’t be blinded by hate. Hate is fueled by love, it’s like a glove that you put over your hand that masks what’s inside, but there’s no need to hide because you know it’s there and it’s really not fair to you or anyone else to not allow yourself to feel what were made of. 

Thursday, May 17, 2012

A Little Taste of me for the World to See

Money makes the world go round.
Money makes the world spin upside down.
Seasick from all of this green, greed, mean-
ing has lost its meaning.
Our eyes are open, but were not seeing.
Were not being.
Were doing as were told until one day we get old and regret the life we’ve lived, 
or not, 
you kinda just let your soul rot.

Id like to say it’s a waste of space,
but everything is in its perfect place.
Imperfectly perfect isn’t so wrong,
it gives me the ability to be strong,
And sing a song or two
about the universe and its true blue.
I see every color, every shade of dark;
I see everything, but I don’t see your heart.

One day you’ll wake up and wonder why you didn’t give,
Give your soul to everything in exchange for a dream you can live.
Compassion is the life force that ignites our breath
So breathe in deep and let your spirit rest.
The inexplicably changing rates of time are mirrored for your love to see it blind.

You caught me in a fishnet and hung me to dry
While all the other fish just swam by.
and by and by and by and by.
And I didn’t resist
I just watched and laughed and waited
And you hated me for it
And I wasn’t mad
And I wasn’t sad
I slowly became untied
The net broke
So I rode the tide
I wasn’t jealous of the other fish
I wasn’t jealous of what I didn’t miss
I just went with the flow of emotion
The flow of the ocean
The movement of water and change,
So strange.

I am not a machine
My life will not be consumed by the evilness of greed,
And power and clocks on the hour,
and the past,
The future,
But what about now?
Stop wondering why or when or how
It will all come to you when you’re ready.
On your way to be free
On your way to be with me.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Warning Sign

Think about how many things are on your mind in this very moment and then imagine all of those thoughts condensed into that tiny little head of yours, even smaller, condensed into your brain. Weird to imagine right? Now think about your thoughts. Are they what you want them to be? If not, change them. It's amazing what self-affirmations can do for you. Call me weird, call me whatever you want, but when I catch myself doubting who I am or the way I look, I stop myself and simply say "No, I am beautiful," and the more I say it the more I actually believe it.

Ever since high school I've hated magazines. The way they portray celebrities, people's "role models," dressed provocatively as if that's acceptable, claiming that this is how you need to look in order to get someone, anyone's attention. Disgusting. The way they train you to be a certain way if you want to be happy or if you want to score the right guy. Wear this makeup and he''ll for sure go for you. Say these words and you'll become irresistible. It's funny because I used to believe all this. I thought the more and more I read, the more confident and beautiful and sexy I would become. But the exact opposite happened. My insecurities grew and my self confidence was shattered. I continued to compare myself to these "perfect" beings in the magazine and anyone walking down the street for that matter. I would ask myself "Why can't I look like that?" "Why are they so lucky that they were created perfectly?" Was I serious? 

What happened to the beauty that lies within each and every one of us? I know it sounds corny, but it's true! If our souls are beautiful, it will reflect on the outside through our physical body. When you become happy with who you are on the inside, you will see the sparkle in your own eyes. And then you will see it in everyone else's eyes. You'll stop judging everyone else, you'll stop judging yourself. Judgment hurts; it's an unnatural state of my mind. That's why you feel pain anytime you judge someone or something. It's merely a reflection of the things you are unhappy with in your own life. 

I used to wonder why my art couldn't look like this artists, why my mind couldn't create something as beautiful, but then I realized it can. It's irrelevant to compare yourself to anyone, to compare your work to anyone else's. There's no point, it's a waste of energy. You are you. You will always be you, no matter what, so find the beauty that resides in you because you have it. Beauty takes all shapes and forms, it's effortless, it has no restrictions, no limitations, it's infinite, it's incomparable. We all think and create differently so that all these talents and thoughts and desires and passions come together to create something beautiful; to create life, to create peace, to create a world where you love yourself and I love you too. 

Consider this a warning sign. Don't fall victim to the bullshit that the media feeds you. Don't be anyone but yourself. Own who you are, because there is no other you out there. 

Listening to the song Warning Sign by Coldplay inspired the title of this blog, so if you haven't heard it, check it out, it's BEAUTIFUL. 

This is just a painting I did the other week that I thought I'd share!
Have a beautiful day everyone. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Lost in a Maze. Caught in a Gaze

You feel so lost in a world that makes it so hard to find yourself.  Be my friend. Ill let you in. Its almost like im scared to get to know myself, but what am I so scared of? I have a lot to offer, So does every human in the world. We all have something to offer and we must understand that so we can forgive. To understand is to forgive. 

Why are we all so afraid to admit to doing human things? Were so scared were being judged for doing something that EVERYONE does. Don’t look at me, I’m being human. Everything’s a secret. Why? WHY ARE WE JUST LIVING A BIG LIE? Is it just me or do you feel it too? It’s all a scam. I see it all so perfectly now. What’s in your wallet that man asks you on tv. Well have you checked recently, because you’ll have one of two things I’m assuming: money or memories. 

They’ve trained us to organize our minds. To put it into categories that we apparently belong to based on what they say is or isn’t normal? Well who are you to say what is and isn’t normal?  What does normal even mean anymore? Nobody knows, nobody freaking knows, but whatever you think it is goes. Let your walls down. Go ahead. I wont judge you. 

I’m so angry that we all just get caught in this lie. I’m so angry that we’ve all been deprived of life. Nobody wants to admit that this is what’s really going on because it would be too awful and painful to admit that our own government is against us, manipulating us; so they just repress it and carry on with their life wondering why they feel this strange hurt in their heart that they cant seem to get rid of. Sometimes I wonder where I’m going with a thought, but I’m getting better at just letting it go because it seems the more I let go the more I know. So come. I invite you to let go. Let go of everything that brings you down. Find that smile that’s been turned into a frown. Corny as it sounds, but dance. Put your body in a trance. Feeel the beat and the melody and feel yourself be free. I love you. And I love me. Ahhhhhhhh everybody lets just be freeee.

Saturday, May 5, 2012

Maybe, Just Maybe

Maybe I have all of these thoughts for a reason. Maybe they aren't for nothing. I always felt crazy about my ideas, but maybe I'm not so crazy. Maybe they are the crazy ones and the jokes on us because we believed them. We believed them when they told us we were wrong and told us we had no right to move on. No. You must stay in the past and watch your life run out like an hour glass while you try to fit into the standards of society where you are not allowed to be free. No. You must stay in this fucking fish bowl of a a world where we are all just swimming around aimlessly with no heads. I'd rather be dead.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Is it love that occupies the space between you and I? I like to think so. Space. It's nothing and everything at the same time. So much more than what meets the eye. Mirrored for you to the see the reflection of yourself, the reflection of love.  Love is in the oxygen we breathe. Love is just what we need. Listen to your body. Feel what your heart is trying to tell you.

 When were all walking alone on the street why can't we all just say hey? Why can't I ask you about your day? I get so scared to say how I feel to the people I love the most because I never want them to misjudge the intentions of my words or actions. I just want them to know that my reasons for my behavior is to access the highest level of love possible. I want to unlock it for everyone to feel. I want them to know that it's real. And maybe I have mishaps along the way, but I don't really like to call them mishaps because there's nothing missing in them. I keep reassuring myself that every moment is unfolding as it should and every time I say it I believe it a little bit more. It's all so perfectly perfect. Opposites existing as one. You just want to have it in your grasp, to have complete control over it, but the more you resist yourself, your emotions, the greater the urge to resist that resistance becomes.

We're all just hiding behind these translucent masks where we think were escaping life, resisting with all our might when there's nothing to resist. Resistance. Denial. Fear. It's all the same. It all just leads your heart to pain. So how about we all just spread a little love. Give someone a hug.  There's absolutely no fault in loving someone, especially with your whole heart. Once you start to realize that everything was created on the foundation of love, everything's purpose is love, and everything exists because of love, then you begin to uncover the happiness that has always lived inside of you. Everything is present in the heart. Just trust me that love is enough.

Sending my love to everyone always <3 <3 <3

Monday, April 30, 2012

Humans. Tough Love

We're just bodies of being, choosing what to see and believe; choosing what not to see and who to blame. Stop blaming the source of your suffering on external factors and look deep inside of yourself. Nothing is creating this pain it but you. You can lie to as many people as you want, hell you can continue to lie to yourself for the rest of your life, but just know that in doing so, you'll never be truly happy.

It's time to start being honest with yourself. Everyone makes mistakes so why are we all so scared to admit to it? We are all human. We feel, we hurt, we love, we cry, we get scared, we lie. You'll never be able to accept yourself until you admit the truth to yourself. Break your walls down. Not the walls you use to block everyone else out with; the walls you use against yourself. Muster up the courage to transform your life into what you truly want it to be. Not what anyone else wants it to be. Get to know yourself a little bit better, because after years and years of lying to yourself (which I did), you might not be who you thought you were. You'll be something better.

This is how I think about it: your life is a path of thoughts. The more positive your thoughts are, the more positive your life will be, guaranteed. The more negative your thoughts are, the more negative your life will be. It's plain and simple. Your life is in your hands, no one else's and I think once we start realizing this, we begin to happily take responsibility for our errors in judgment. We are able to finally cut loose the lies that have been binding us to the past, preventing us from creating a happy future and enabling us to take present moments for granted.

You can't hide from what you feel so heal yourself and be real.

<3 Jenna