Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sticky Business

I'm stuck.
And I'm having trouble overcoming being stuck because I feel guilty for it
Which makes me stick even more to the stuck that I'm stuck on
And that's nothing really except for the ideas I mold in my mind
 And the amount of suns that have passed through time
And entered the portal of the immortal ones where energy exists through a divine rhyme of love and only love,
Nothing below and nothing above,
 And I know this to be so, so why am I still so stuck on what I do and dont know?
Why won't I allow myself to let go of the possession of my brain,
 It's driving me insane,
The possession of the game I've been playing all along
 I want to sing my own song and move along no matter how long it takes,
The stakes are high and I'm running low and I feel like I have nowhere to go,
But the corners of my box that I've been trapped into
And jokes on me because I fell for all these silly little things that have dangled me by a string and conformed me into fear, hurting...
 Those who I truly hold dear are nowhere near me now
And I keep asking how I let myself wander out so far when I've never lost sight of the north star
 I know where I'm going so why don't I just go that way
 I know which way the wind is blowing so why don't I just let it take me away,
And float miraculously in the sea of the sky, The eye of the I,
It's me and my fight battling against itself,
Holding onto its "wealth" of egotism.
Not being given any emotion,
 Just being thrown into an ocean at a young age with nothing to gage or nothing to trade for your life Or the knife that you feel in your heart
And it's only the start of this so called life
And i wonder if I've already lost a lot of it,
 But I don't even know what it is
I don't even know what I am.
Am I a man or a female
 Or a squirrel
 Or an alien
 Or a normal one
Or a weird, queer one who sucks her thumb and stares into an empty space of misfortune and distaste for the food she's been fed through thought
And who woulda thought it would have such an impact
 And stay in tact until it can't be beat down
But placed into the ground with the foundation broken
And the wound still open.