Monday, September 10, 2012

Everything is not as it Seems, We are Just Lost in a Beautiful Dream


It's amazing the things were taught to believe from the start of our physical existence. People always telling you that the world doesn't revolve around you, but it does, and if we were able to accept that and allow it to revolve us  instead of blocking its movement, we'd find that inner peace that were constantly seeking. If we let the world revolve around ourselves like we should, we would be doing everything we love, everything we desire, everything we dream of, everything we've ever wanted and more, and in doing these things we would radiate all of that good energy, all of that happiness and security out into our external world. 

The world revolving around you is the most selfless movement. It's our innate nature as human BEings to express ourselves through love in everything we do, to give and receive, to service our brothers and sisters, to appreciate everyone for what their world brings into ours, to allow our worlds to mold together into one beautiful masterpiece, rather than resist the oneness that is everything, so in letting our world revolve around ourselves we allow the consciousness of everything to revolve around itself; love. 

The idea of disconnection is only in our minds. Our realities are a manifestation of our thoughts, so in convincing ourselves that were disconnected, we "disconnect" ourselves and forget, not lose, the truth of our experience on this planet. We are each the center of the universe, starting at the very core of our hearts and expanding outwards into the infinite nothingness of life. We are one eternal consciousness, expressing itself differently through billions of physical bodies, either remaining stagnant in a world we hate, or allowing ourselves to unfold into everything we already are. We don't have to do anything to be where we want to be, we are already there, always. 

Every single being on this planet is the key component to life, for if anything that is in place right now was out of place, we wouldn't exist. God, the source, love, whatever you want to call it, is just expressing itself through us, as itself. We are just as much a part of the source as the source is a part of itself. There is no difference between us and the source. We are it. We don't need to look outside of ourselves for answers anymore because they are all within. All of this time we've been searching, on the hunt for answers, for excuses, distractions, anything to justify our severance from ourselves, but this doesn't make sense to us anymore. We don't have to be consumed by fear and doubt, we don't have to hurt anymore, because its only been ourselves hurting ourselves this entire time, no one else, so we have the ability to heal ourselves as well. And this is the beautiful part of pain.  

As chaotic as some may view the world, as much hate as you may think you see on this planet and the people around you, its only because you see that hate in yourself. When you love something and you know its purpose, it grows, so love yourself, love who you are, not who you are not, because you are already everything you wish to be, you just have to let yourself believe it. We have the power to do anything we want. Theres no longer a need to give our power away or to search for our power from something or someone outside of ourselves because we will not find it there. The only place we will find our power is in our hearts. Our hearts are all connected to each other in a beautiful rainbow matrix.

There's no gap from one person to the next. This space that we've created between each other does not exist. Because we can't see or feel this space, this nothingness, our fear consumed souls resist its nutrients, its beauty, its security. Just like a fish in water, the air is our ocean of unlimited possibilities in which we have the ability to let the current of our own spirit take us away into love. The planet, mother earth, is our root, and we are the trees. In order to grow, we need to nurture and love ourselves, provide ourselves with delicious water and nutrients, and then watch as our leaves and branches blow effortlessly in the wind, as father sky makes his presence known. 

The mother and the father work harmoniously to give us everything we need, everything we've ever wanted, now all we have to do is open ourselves up to receive. Let their magic encompass your entire being, let them fill you with their wisdom, with their healing touch. Watch and learn as they perfectly balance the masculine and femininity of life. Allow yourself to consume the role of the female and listen to your emotions, your intuition, your heart; let yourself cry if you need to. Let yourself feel. Just feel and be ok with whatever ever it is that you are feeling. In fighting off what we think we don't want, we only attract more of that into our life. Let go. Just let go and know that you always have the loving support of your mother underneath your feet and the wisdom and courage from the father sky within you at every moment. Take on the Masculine aspect of yourself and go after what you want. Take action. Believe. Create. Let the prana, your breath, your life force, flow up and down your chakras, filling you with its infinite knowledge. Let your star shine from within, lighting up your path, your purpose. 

Let yourself be yourself and watch as your life unfolds into a beautiful dream. 

Saturday, July 7, 2012

Sticky Business

I'm stuck.
And I'm having trouble overcoming being stuck because I feel guilty for it
Which makes me stick even more to the stuck that I'm stuck on
And that's nothing really except for the ideas I mold in my mind
 And the amount of suns that have passed through time
And entered the portal of the immortal ones where energy exists through a divine rhyme of love and only love,
Nothing below and nothing above,
 And I know this to be so, so why am I still so stuck on what I do and dont know?
Why won't I allow myself to let go of the possession of my brain,
 It's driving me insane,
The possession of the game I've been playing all along
 I want to sing my own song and move along no matter how long it takes,
The stakes are high and I'm running low and I feel like I have nowhere to go,
But the corners of my box that I've been trapped into
And jokes on me because I fell for all these silly little things that have dangled me by a string and conformed me into fear, hurting...
 Those who I truly hold dear are nowhere near me now
And I keep asking how I let myself wander out so far when I've never lost sight of the north star
 I know where I'm going so why don't I just go that way
 I know which way the wind is blowing so why don't I just let it take me away,
And float miraculously in the sea of the sky, The eye of the I,
It's me and my fight battling against itself,
Holding onto its "wealth" of egotism.
Not being given any emotion,
 Just being thrown into an ocean at a young age with nothing to gage or nothing to trade for your life Or the knife that you feel in your heart
And it's only the start of this so called life
And i wonder if I've already lost a lot of it,
 But I don't even know what it is
I don't even know what I am.
Am I a man or a female
 Or a squirrel
 Or an alien
 Or a normal one
Or a weird, queer one who sucks her thumb and stares into an empty space of misfortune and distaste for the food she's been fed through thought
And who woulda thought it would have such an impact
 And stay in tact until it can't be beat down
But placed into the ground with the foundation broken
And the wound still open.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Sometimes Things Get Complicated

Before I post what I've written I just wanted To let my readers know that I've had a rough couple of days. Most of my blogs are extremely positive but this one is just raw emotion. The reason I'm posting it is because I want people to see that I hurt too and that it's ok to admit to it. Everyone hurts and bottling up that pain will only make you go insane. That being said, here it is...

I feel trapped, under attack, every minute every hour I feel a loss of power and I want to shower and drain all of this pain I hold inside all of these tendencies I hide and I try to disguise what's going on sometimes, but sometimes some time is too long to not feel strong, I've lost the will to go on. I feel my feet slip from under me and all I want to do is be set free, but I'm held captivity of my own mind of my own rhymes and it's about time I made a change, but change can just seem so strange and unfamiliar in known ways weeks turn into 100 days of guilt and blame and hurt and shame and everything in between that doesn't define the real me, but...

 I let it consume me and control me I let it take a hold of me and everything I am and am not I hate to watch myself rot, but that's what I'm doing I'm putting off pursuing, I don't excuse myself from my excuses I'm abusive and judgmental, but only of myself and I create this hell where I feel my heart burning away into everything I don't want it to be I just want the world to see me for me and I know it's my fault that they don't and I don't point the finger at anyone else but myself, but I still can't tell you why...

Why I do the things I do and don't or won't or think I can't. I want something different, something new, I want to get through this now, but now seems too soon and now is all we have so I cant hide from it forever, but sometimes I wonder if I could because anythings possible and that scares me. What If I continue on forever with this undying wound in my heart what if I can never learn to start communicating better what If I just let her and him and everyone continue to beat me down until I'm so lost I can't be found. I want to stay around for awhile, but I'm trying too hard and it seems so far until I fall into the nothingness of all that is, my one question is...

Will it ever go away? I keep saying not today I'll save it for tomorrow, but tomorrow is just letting me borrow some more time, it's letting borrow more of something that's not mine or anyone's for that matter and matter doesn't matter either, what matters is love. So I continue to look to the skies above, feel the light, feel the dove, feel its peace put my pieces together for the better and whatever I go through at least I'm going and whatever I go through at least I'm knowing at least I'm aware and I don't stare at all the others staring at each other, too afraid to look themselves in the eye, too ashamed to ask why, why they lie, why they don't let themselves cry from time to time, but what's mine is yours so take these words and the infinite amount of love I hold and I hope you let your life unfold into it. Have a beautiful day everyone, much love.

Monday, June 18, 2012

How is my Only How

So here I am, but where am I exactly? These thoughts don’t let me do much they almost help me to lose touch with the things I want to be intertwined with, no time does not exist and neither does my ego its time to let it go, the fear that consumes me, that traps me within myself, a self proclaimed hell, a spell to suffer enough to where I don’t trust anyone or anything, but that’s not me so what does it matter what anyone else thinks, what does it matter what matter is because its all just twisted and churned into something we learn rather than be, rather than feel and fly free, were all prisoners here of our own mind, were all prisoners here of time, were all prisoners here of what we make up, take up another dose for I cant take it anymore, I've about hit the floor.
She says hell is in the hallways until you open another door, but what if you’ve been walking for too long? What if it's too hard to feel strong, what if I want to collapse and melt into nothing else because the possible seems impossible and im hoping for a miracle to shield me from my “mistakes” and everything I take for granted, granted im still alive I still thrive, but I still lie and am scared to die, I don’t know why, I need to practice what I preach because I have so much to teach and so far to reach until I get there, but there is here, its all the same, im going insane searching for something I already know, but how the fuck do I let go, how do I break it down, how do I make a sound and make it heard, how do I escape from this herd roaming through life grazing on bullshit, drinking in standardized piss, shitting out the truth, and breathing in the myths.
 How do I know which road to take or not do I run or walk do I sit and talk or do I leave the flock to create my own, my home, my om, where vibrations havenever been sweeter, where my words are not a misdemeanor, where my thoughts don’t teeter, where my heart isn’t bruised from a beater; me, judgement free, forgiveness at its finest, minus the sinus pain of this ongoing game called life where you take a knife and stab it in your own chest and you blame the blood stains on the rest, don’t you see this is all just a test. Who will pass and who will fail?
 I received a letter in the mail from a little bird apparently she heard we've been conditioned to breath in sync with the heart beat of a machine, theres no such thing as a team we are all on our own we are all alone, these are letters that have been added and multiplied so that our souls would die and we wouldn’t even know, now they just put on a show because they know we'll all watch and do the message they’ve sent through, see we don’t know the difference anymore between happiness and pain to us it's all just the same because you live and then you die, but before you die you spend 80 years crying inside trying to hide who you really are, what if we could all could just be in harmony, love and peace, whats so hard about that, whats so wrong with a lack of self defense, why must we build fences around our world, why have we turned so cold.
 Its hard to understand, but it makes perfect sense, the reason why our chakras are so tense, not an ounce of love for some, not even a hug, or a melody so fine that it wouldn’t even matter how many dimes you had in your piggy bank, and to think I didn’t thank you for inspiring me to turn my dream world into a reality, and to think that jesus didn’t think, drink up some more beer, soothe your soul, release your fear, temporarily at least, it gives your mind some peace, trust me I know, but it gets old, and so youre told, go to school, be a square, drop out? Don’t you dare. A blank stare on every face, trying to retrace at which pace you let the hurt take over, take cover, theyre coming for you, its true, look at the x in the sky, look at the x’s in your eyes, youre so close to dead, eat another loaf of bread, eat your pain away, maybe you can postpone facing it for another day in another way.
So here I lay and ponder and wander in my own maze and im amazed at the universe and how each verse is sung perfectly, each note hits the capacity of my heart and my art, and yours too, who knew we had it in us, the passion to live in love not lust, see theres a difference between the two, a distance not many knew, through each heart and out the next, take a step towards want you want, and youll get what you need, take a step towards yourself and I'll take a step towards me.

Sunday, May 27, 2012

Undo my Seams

The universe is a mirror of yourself. Do you see the beauty in it or the ugly? Check. Are you really you or are you being someone else?

You can be put on a shelf and displayed for a day in a shade of grey, then teleport somewhere else, maybe a little elf will whisper in your ear, tell you everything you need to hear, show you where you need to look, a thief stole your soul and you're the crook-ed thought we're all in a melting pot, boiling in our lies until we rot, then we feed ourselves to the young and the old and the middle sold  in desperation for them to know the hurt we've endured, in hopes that we can allure them into thinking the same, reliving our pain since we had to feel it and its not fair, so here take this hate, there's plenty to share, don't stop and care about your being just focus your attention on what you're seeing. 

Yes, that's good, digest your ego, you are what you eat, you must come with me though and follow in my steps of despair don't you ever declare what's on your mind, don't you dare feel aligned with the idea of no time, you get no words, you won't be heard by anyone or anything, don't you dare listen to your heart ring, don't you dare go against the cause of suffering, my mind created hell on earth and you'll be joining me. 

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Weirdos Digest

I'm having a weird human moment where I'm wondering who the hell I am and how the hell did I get here? I can't see you here, but I can feel you here. What are you? I'm just knit-picking the energy levels. Don't we all just want to lose our minds? Then we wouldn't have to worry about anything anymore. Don't we all just want to lose our minds? Then we'll find our hearts. We all just want to leave our imprint on this earth and thats what I'm doing. The size of our bodies is insignificant, but the size of our hearts is not, and until you speak from yours, it won't be content. You have all of the questions while feeling all the answers in your heart, and you keep looking out, but look within.

So, I'm standing on the earth here and you're standing on the earth there and I'm feeling what I'm feeling here and you're feeling what you're feeling there, but is it possible that were feeling the same thing at the same time? Maybe these emotions aren't so alien after all. Did you ever consider that there are millions of people who are feeling the same exact thing as you, they're just scared to admit to it, just as you are, but don't you see through everyones translucent masks? Don't you see through your own?

Why are we all so ashamed to be insecure, were all just trying to figure out what were looking for. If so many people around you are feeling the same, then why don't you relate to them instead of hate on them. Say something nice and see how much better you feel. You'll go to bed with less pain, knowing that you are being a good person instead of an angry person and it will translate over into the next day where you wake up feeling better than the day before about yourself and this positive pattern continues and you start to eradicate this hurt out of your heart, you actually understand the meaning of a fresh start filled with a clear blue sky, where all the negativity has died.


Much love to all you angels out there, which is everyone <3

Sunday, May 20, 2012

Fall in Love With Yourself


Do you ever feel like you’re two people? Like your heart is one person and your brain is the other, and until you resolve the battle between the two, you wont find inner peace. How can you trust anyone if you don’t even trust yourself? You are constantly beating, hurting, and lying to yourself. That’s why you don’t even love who you are. It’s like a relationship: how can you love someone when they are constantly lying to you and breaking your heart? You cant. 

You must love yourself. You must nourish, treat and take care of yourself the way you’d expect the love of your life to take care of you, with compassion and encouragement. You just want someone to love you because it’s too hard for you to try and love you. You you you, open your eyes and feel the love , open your heart and see the love.

I don’t know who’s quote this is, I found it online, but it says “a soul mate is someone who will make you the most ‘you’ that you can possibly be.” Your heart is your spirits soul mate, so don’t separate, don’t be blinded by hate. Hate is fueled by love, it’s like a glove that you put over your hand that masks what’s inside, but there’s no need to hide because you know it’s there and it’s really not fair to you or anyone else to not allow yourself to feel what were made of.